Rules of Engagement 4.0

Obedience to your parents is a big part of Chinese culture. It is actually a strong believed custom that if you are disobedient to your parents, you are never to succeed in life. Some of you might think that obedience is too strong a word, it is actually exactly the right word. It is being submissive to another's will. This is 100% true in the relationship aspect of your life.

Back in ancient times, this meant arranged marriage. This was an edict. There was no fighting against it, there was no arguing, there was no free will. There was only "Yes, father."

Now, it's a lot less strict. Now, it's more of a match making scheme. Where they introduce the two of you to each other, and you guys start dating and see how it goes. But there is no backing out of the initial meeting. You are to meet that person whether you like it or not and you are to go out on a date with them. Suck it up and see where it goes.

And why am I blogging about this....

Because I have feeling, that in a months time, I am going to be brain washed into going out with my cousin. (Explains why I blogged about maternal cousins yesterday, doesn't it!)

I have some intense weaseling out to do...

Eat Well and Wish Me Luck,

Harveyson Go

Rules of Engagement 3.0

I'm going to start of today with a brief introduction on how a Chinese family records its family tree. The Chinese is a paternal society, and only the men and the unmarried women are counted in the family tree. In a strictly traditional sense, the wives of the men are uncounted for. So in the listing of the family tree, it's just the father and under him are his children.

You may wonder why I'm talking about this boring shit. Because this boring shit is the rationale behind this mind blowing shit.

There is nothing wrong with marrying your cousins on the mother side.

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Because according to the family tree, there is absolutely no relation between the two of you. So parents can set their children up with their cousins and its just another normal thing in this awesome, awesome world. Basically, we're like hillbillies, but not that bad, because hillbillies marry their siblings too, but that's irrelevant. 

Actually, we're more like European Royalty, where they are only allowed to marry people of Royal Blood as well, other princes and princesses, dukes and duchesses  and whatever else they have over there. So technically, we see ourselves as Royal Blood as well. Very pompous, don't you think? Well, not if we're majority of the population on Earth.

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go

Rules of Engagement 2.0

Apart from NOT being Chinese, there is another trump card to relationships in the Chinese community. And that is the dreaded 6 year age gap. OH NO!!!

This is an irrefutable part of match making, because a 6 year age gap between the couple is bad fung-shui. You can refer to the chart I have provided above to see which zodiac sign is an unfavorable match for you. And if you live under a rock and don't know your Chinese zodiac sign, you can find out here:  YEAH MHEN!!

But why is a 6 year age gap between a couple so bad?Because it leads to a number of very unfortunate things.

It may cause:

- 1 of the partners to die early

- cancer

- unhappy family life

- the husband to never succeed (financially)

- the wife to never bear children

and more, these are just the ones I know of. If you know any Fung-Shui people, you can try asking them.

A really good example I can think of for the 6 year age gap is...

Hayden Kho (29) and Katrina Halili (23) 29 - 23 = 6

and look where they are now. Hayden is addicted to ecstasy, brought shame to his family, his family is also receiving death threats, and Bello is freaking pissed at him. Katrina on the other hand has lost face in society and apparently hasn't received any work since February 2009. 

Relationship EPIC FAIL

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go

Rules of Engagement 1.1

The Chinese community is very discriminative. Simply being Chinese isn't enough, you have to be PURE Chinese. WTF. But lets clear something out right now, being pure Chinese isn't an all you can ride pass, there are still some Q&As that you have to pass, things like zodiac signs, personality tests, age, family background, the general stuff that any parent  of any ethnicity would take into consideration. You know, to see whether or not you are a good person.

The tips I'm going to share are for those who are not 100% Chinese, and has to face a very traditional Chinese family, because they won't care whether or not your a good person if you don't have the following  characteristics. 

Ability to use chopsticks -   5 points

Ability to use abacus -   5 points

Chinese Last Name - 10 points

Ability to speak Mandarin - 10 points

Knowledge of Family History - 15 points

Religious background - 20 points

Educational Background (Schools you went to) - 20 points

Ability to speak Mandarin and Fu-Kien - 25 points

Ability to Read and Write Mandarin  - 30 points

Appearance (How Chinese you look) - 30 points

Family Business - 30 points

Chinese Zodiac Sign Compatibility - 40 points

Knowledge of Chinese Customs and Traditions - 60 points

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Total 300 points

This is just a basic check list of the first things that came to mind when I though of the things that were important to a traditional Chinese family and the points are in accordance to how important it is to them. I'm not an expert in the field or anything, I haven't conducted any research or interviews, this is just my point of view. So don't take it too seriously. I don't want anyone getting their hopes up only to be shot down or lose confidence in themselves because of what I have said.

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go 

Rules of Engagement 1.0

For an outsider, the way the Chinese culture sees love and relationships seems to be very confusing, restrictive and backwards. But there is 1 over all rule that everybody knows, but doesn't really understand. It is prerequisite #1 in the relationship. And that is:

He/She needs to be Chinese

And I will try to explain, to the best of my capabilities and understanding, the rationale behind this.

1. It's pride. In my opinion, the Chinese people in general have a deep rooted, subconscious, sense of superiority. With being one of the oldest living civilizations in the world, and thousands upon thousands of year of cultural heritage, the Chinese are a very proud race. People who are not Chinese are called Hwa-Na (literal translation: Barbarian), and that is the reason why it is heavily looked down upon, it is a degradation of your rank in society, kind of like the whole Caste system in India.

2. It's a preservation of culture, or the cultivation of it, depends on how you would like to look at it. Let's say the Chinese culture is a red rose, and you want to keep on making red roses, so you breed with only red roses. If you cross breed a red rose with let's say a white rose, then it isn't red anymore, it's pink, kind of like red, but not red. Still beautiful, but not red.

3. It's distrust, or a lack of faith for the Hwa-Na's. Whenever my parents would see a Chinese man/woman with a Hwa-Na boy/girlfriend, they would always say, "They got tricked / fooled." I never quite understood this, the distrust. But it's there, the parents feeling that something is just wrong.

There are a lot more reasons, I'm sure if I go and ask my parents, they can give hundreds more. But I think these 3 are sufficient for the purpose of my blog today. And it is up to you whether or not you agree with it, or believe whether or not they are valid reasons. But more or less, these are the real reasons.

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go