Rules of Engagement 6.0

Have you ever wondered why Chinese people more often than not have a family business and why it is kept that way?

Having a business instead of being employed is a lot more stressful, but unlike being an employee you don't retire from being a businessman. So you don't have to worry about where you're going to get your money once you get old. Which is why Chinese people are so stingy, because we all believe that we will have time later on in life to enjoy it, or have our grandchildren enjoy it. As long as the business is there, you will always have cash coming in. You don't have to worry about retirement and pension.

The business is then inherited by the children to take over and continue the legacy, whether it be a small restaurant or hardware store. But why insist keeping it in the family? It is because we rarely trust anyone who is not family. It is incredibly biased and backwards, but that's how it works, if you're not part of the family, you're not touching the money. Even when the business grows to become very big, like Sea Oil, which has a President, Chairman and so on and so forth, it is still a private business and all of the top level management are the sons of the founder. Even for businesses that have gone public like SM, who are in charge? The children of Henry Sy, they are the ones running the operation. Keeping it in the family, because family are the only people you can trust.

This beliefs runs long and deep in Chinese culture, where back in ancient times, a son would take over his fathers occupation and shop, whether it be a blacksmith, baker, chef, or whatever, the sons are obligated to continue what the father has started, and it was considered a great honer. Especially if your family has been in the business for generations, and your reputation is known far and wide for quality and excellence. Like you go to Yang's for the best wine, and to Liu's for the sharpest swords, things like that, reputation.

You find a wife, so that you can have a son that can continue that legacy when you are gone.  You don't go looking for outsiders and teach your craft to them, that was considered highly shameful, not only is it looked down upon by the rest of the family, even the gossip from the rest of the community would be negative. Teaching trade family secrets to an outsider, BLASPHEMY! How can you be sure that you can trust them?! That would be question #1. 

We are by nature a very closed society, very closed minded and traditional. And that's why in the generations and generations to come I am sure that our culture will still be in tact, and be as colorful and as venerated as it is today. And that is something that I am proud of, that my great, great, great grandchildren will have the same values and traditions as I have today.

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go

Rules of Engagement 5.0

Whenever my parents would talk to me about relationships, which is get more and more often, I always get the impression from them that you get into a relationship to get married. You don't go around meeting girls going "Hey, I kind of like you. Lets see where this goes." No, there is none of that bullshit. It's  "Hey, lets wait a couple of year till I get financially stable so we can go get married."  You don't get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one or because you like them, it's because you see them as husband/wife material and you plan on doing the whole till death do us part jig.

Which makes me wonder about my father, who has a reputation of being a player among his peers, which is something I have obviously not inherited. People who knew him in his 20's and 30's would always talk about all the girlfriends he had. Something my mother has had to put up for a long, long time now. Which pushes the point, were all of my father's girlfriends Chinese? Personally, I don't have the moxie to ask him about this matter.

But it would explain why he has very little to say during these conversations, most of the time it would just be my mom talking. Who come to think of it, has never talked about any other man in her life other than my father. He would just say something along the lines of "Just remember that she has to be Chinese. This is non-negotiable." nearing the end of the conversation.

Whether or not this perspective is true for other Chinese families, I am not sure. But I just feel that the their perspective on things is problem inducing later on in life. Since you weren't really able to discover and explore what the world had to offer, the tendency is you cheat on your spouses when you're the one calling the shots. You want to take up what you missed out on earlier in life. Am I the only one that thinks this is true, what do you think?

Eat Well and Good Luck,

Harveyson Go